Page 56 - IJPS-10-2

International Journal of
Population Studies Experience of bereavement by suicide in later life

This refusal or inability to share information from do know if you need to tell you can come talk to me.
professionals did not help with bereaved person’s comprehension I went, bye. But I wouldn’t’ve said I had at the time, but
of what had happened. One participant who lost his wife apparently some… I don’t know the circumstances and I
referred to how his wife’s psychiatrist used to regularly assess know you can’t say how… You’ve lost somebody, but she
her suicide risk using a scale to score her risk factors: said, well, the way you found your husband, she said,
that’s not nice.” (Partner, 60 – 64 years old)
“But he never, at any point, said to me, just be careful,
you know, keep your eye out, do this, do that. There was Likewise, some expressed a distinct lack of agency or
no kind of protocol to the carer, to the partner, which I resilience in dealing with the challenges that followed a
thought was a massive gap in what could easily have suicide loss and described external and internal influences
been provided.” (Partner, 84 – 89 years old) around ageism and sensitivities to their socioeconomic
status that provided further barriers to seeking and
This individual, like many other participants researched,
read widely and cited their attempts to rapidly familiarize receiving support. The following participant tried to seek
solace by volunteering at a local stable but ended up being
themselves with guidance, knowledge, and skills used by bullied:
professionals to benchmark and understand what had
occurred in their own situations and scenarios. They were “No, because they’re really upmarket and they’re really,
extremely active in trying to make sense of what might have like, semi-professional quite a lot of them and because I’m
gone wrong for their loved ones or to use their sources of an oldie, with my wee horse and I’m not very experienced,
information to directly challenge the way in which services I don’t know why, but they don’t invite me out with them.
had dealt with the individuals, rightly or wrongly. There And that hurts me. And, as I said again, I keep saying,
were significant and vivid experiences described of poor my daughter she says, well, you just to have accept these
interaction with professionals particularly around the time things Mum and so I, kind of, gave up trying. So, I’m not
of the death even where these had occurred many years one to go in and asking them but if they don’t ask me, I
earlier. These involved either being given inappropriate just get hurt. I’m…I’ll tell you what’s happened since the
information in an insensitive way or being denied some death, I am so easy hurt, I’m so sensitive. You know, to
basic communication on the circumstances that prevailed everything in life. I feel like I can’t take on anything else.”
or what they could expect in terms of support. These (Mother, aged 70 – 74 years old)
poignant moments provided a trigger several years later 3.3. The journey of discovery and how this
for participants actively taking up causes where they were interacted with social and political rights in later life
determined that another person would not have to have
the same experience: This theme captured participants new perspectives and
meaning making from their direct experiences particularly
“In my letter back to the chief exec who said, if you have in relation to challenging the stigma of suicide and self-
any further questions, I thought, yes, I do, I’ve said, how
are you going to change your organization’s culture of discovery where participants actively used their experiences
to influence and support others in the field of suicide
blame and judgment and lack of learning?” (Mother, bereavement. For at least a third of our participants, this
60 – 64 years old)
gave rise to expressions of hope and optimism, particularly
A key professional that virtually all participants named in relation to how their own learning and actions would
as someone they inevitably talked to in their journey was benefit of others with whom they could had identified as
the family doctor. Many felt that their general practitioner having shared experiences. This activism at different levels
should be proactive in contacting bereaved people if led to direct offers of support or guided actions that were
they knew the person who died by suicide. The general often practical, tangible, and inspirational.
practitioner was someone who was viewed as both an One person whose daughter died on the railway had
objective expert in offering support and advice as well as a very bad experience of how she was given news of her
being known more intimately to both the person who died daughter’s death by the British Transport Police. At the
by suicide or bereaved person and any assertive outreach time of the interviews, she had been invited to rewrite
or proactive recognition of the suffering caused was highly guidelines for the police on how to “give bad news”
valued: and recorded a podcast. She had also been involved in
“Yeah, yeah. I mean, when I went to the doctors for developing an information sticker for police to place on the
something, I had a little health issue not long afterward dashboards of their vehicles with concrete tips in working
and she said, have you got PTSD? And I went, don’t with people bereaved by suicide. She had some valuable
be daft. And she looked at me and she went, well, you insights to share:

Volume 10 Issue 2 (2024) 50 https://doi.org/10.36922/ijps.0777