Page 58 - IJPS-10-2

International Journal of
Population Studies Experience of bereavement by suicide in later life

reflecting and taking purposeful action to improve their help me with facilitating the group, we’re a really good
own well-being: team and we all look after each other. And sometimes
“It was a combination of all the different things I I’ll put a message on WhatsApp saying I’ve just had a
was doing. I think it was a combination of talking to really difficult phone call or whatever it might be and
my counselor, talking to friends, going to (name of they just…they’re always there, they’re always there,
organization). Clearing some people out of my life who and we’re always there for each other sort of thing. So
I felt were not being helpful. Exercise helped me as that’s been…I have to say it’s been a real privilege to
well and when I say exercise, let’s be sensible, walking, meet some of the people who’ve lost somebody and to
walking the dog.” (Aunt, 80 – 84 years old) realize how…and everybody does it their own way and
it’s just…but it is unbelievably painful. I wish I wasn’t
The bereaved person often commented on their doing any of this because I wish I didn’t know about it,
motivation to honor the person they lost to suicide and but in some way, it’s given me some meaning in life.”
how their sense of guilt of having failed that person could (Partner, 80 – 84 years old)
be readdressed through the act of giving something back This was not true for everyone as some participants
and to replace negative emotions and memories with more talked of a lack of feeling any empathy or compassion
positive ones:
toward other older people, and four participants talked
“Well, I wish with every fiber of my being that I hadn’t about the constant battle with their own suicide thought
had to live through this. I also feel that everything I but with the benefit of insight into what this would mean
do now around suicide bereavement postvention all for others. The changing nature of their emotional pain
those…suicide bereavement support and postvention was one that changed over time but one they became more
and all that stuff, I do to make meaning and to keep familiar with and developed strategies to live with it as the
[name]…to make meaning of what she did, to keep…it’s following metaphors illustrate:
a way of honoring her. I wish I did…I wish I hadn’t had “So, I said, well, I’m packing up my anger and I’m
to do this, but I often think I wonder what she’d think sticking it under this bench and I’m not coming back
about it, would she think, oh mum why is you doing to pick it up again, and I left it there. So, I had so much
this? But I hope she would be okay with it. I hope she’d to support me because I think people want the truth
be okay with. I think she probably would be; I think she and they want justice and they want accountability and
probably is. I think as I say it’s my way of honoring her I had that, I had the truth. I don’t ever use the word,
and giving something…making…not letting her last…if closure.” (Parent, 65 – 70 years old)
you like it’s not letting her lasting legacy be just tragedy
but of providing some hope and support for other 4. Discussion
people.” (Parent, 65 – 69 years old)
This paper drew on data from a study that explored how
This sense of agency transformation was also evident those bereaved by suicide construct meaning about the
in someone who had since trained as a mental first aider: impact of the death on their later life and how they make
“So, from my brother’s death, what has…it’s…I have sense of their ongoing role with their families, support
transformed my life in a positive way, because people networks, their own sense of time remaining, their health
come to me all the time now that have problems. and well-being, and the value of their contribution to
And I’m not…and I can’t fix them because I’m society alongside meeting their own coping and expressive
not a professional, but I talk about my experience needs. While some of their experiences were found to be
or where they may be able to go to get help, which in common from what we already know about suicide
is what being a mental health first-aider is.” bereavement experiences in younger groups, there were
(Sibling, 80-84 years old) many age-related experiences worthy of comment here.
This recognition of making meaning through traumatic 4.1. Learning from traumatic experiences of people
experience, the coming together of pain and optimism by in later life bereaved by suicide
giving oneself over to finding motivation for living and Rich accounts were provided on how individuals bereaved
utilizing their experiences in different ways was succinctly by suicide describe their traumatic experiences and share
expressed by another individual as follows: about how they adapted. Those interviewed demonstrated
“A lot of my life seems to be spent around suicide now a range of informal learning from coping and expressive
and there are times when I think I need to step back for needs to more transformational learning experiences
a while. Fortunately, the other people I work with who in which they harnessed their knowledge to support

Volume 10 Issue 2 (2024) 52 https://doi.org/10.36922/ijps.0777